Friday, May 27, 2011

More thoughts about Bri

A few things never fail to make me cry:
-The "Hold On" song sung by Tiny Home, especially the line:
"with charcoal eyes and Monroe hips, she went and took that California trip"
Briana grew up in California, it's where she was going when she died in the car accident, and that's where we drove her body to be buried.
-The "Hilltop Hymn" song by Sonya Cotton, especially the line at the end:
"under hovering hawk, under shooting star"
I picture Briana's new home (for her body, at least) on the hill at Fernwood. She is there all day and night, basically alone - under hovering hawk and under shooting star.
-The video by David Perry of his son's birth. As soon as it starts, the song and photos make me cry. Then at the end, I love how the older brother reaches over to touch his new baby brother on the head and hand...and the baby looks at him and opens his fingers so he can touch him back. It is so sweet; it is a testament to how wonderful home birth can be for the whole family. It makes me think of the birth of my upcoming baby. I am excited and nervous. I feel as prepared as I can be, but I know nothing can fully prepare me for what labor and being a mom will actually feel like. I am also curious and interested to see what I feel from Briana while I'm in labor - but I'm trying not to expect too much.
I miss Briana more and more everyday, it seems.

1 comment:

Kate said...

Those songs are so heartbreakingly beautiful and in this context even moreso.

I miss Bri too. As it beings to feel more permanent, it is more painful I think.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you'll be an amazing mother!!!